The Conceited Jerk Exercise Program

So, I've joined in the 30 Days of Creativity fun.

The idea is to do something creative each day for thirty days.  Yesterday, I created a small controversy when I announced that I was giving the Internet up for an entire year, starting July 1st.

The idea isn't without precedent.  I've done it before (2008-2009).  Well, I gave up Hi-speed internet for a year... I still had a free dial-up shell account that I used in "emergencies", but more on the whys, wherefores, and motivations in a later post.

Today's creative endeavour is twofold: a drink recipe and a related exercise program.

Jillian and I had agreed that, once the weather warmed up, we'd start taking evening strolls again.  When we first started living together, we'd go for an after-dinner walk every other day.  For one reason or another (the scenery in West Kildonan gets old fast, we bought a car, etc), we stopped this practice.

Now that the weather is nice, and both spirit and flesh are willing, we began the practice anew.  Today, for the year's inaugural stroll, we walked to Kildonan Park.  It was a pretty good indicator of how out of shape we really were, as halfway through the park, my hips started to ache, and Jillian was getting dehydrated.  With the Sun beaming down on us, I remembered why we preferred evening strolls as opposed to afternoon strolls...

Suffice it to say, we were exhausted when we returned home.  After a light, cool dinner, I decided to make myself a drink.  Turning to my dusty, long-neglected liquor cabinet, I thought about what I'd make.

French-style Pernod?  Nah, I'm sick of that.

Sazerac?  It's not Sunday morning!  (An old ritual, explained on a long-deleted blog post I should re-post.)

Brandy & Benedictine?  Had one last night.

You know, I haven't made myself a Martini in ages...

In fact, it had been so long since I'd made myself a Martini, I'd forgotten my personal, top-secret Martini recipe... the same recipe I'd used every day after dinner for three years (twice a day on weekends).  I remembered the basic ingredients, but not the ratios.  Irrelevant, really, as I was missing a key ingredient...

So, rather than give up on the idea, I threw together a new recipe that was close to the original, but with a couple slight changes.  Here's what I used:

2.5 oz.  Bombay Sapphire gin  (I usually use Plymouth Gin, but had none on hand)
1 oz.  Martini & Rossi Dry vermouth  (Sweet vermouth should be saved for Vodka Martinis)
1 splash  Pimm's No. 1 Cup  (or to taste)
1 dash  green Chartreuse (I usually use two drops of Angostura Bitters, but had none on hand)

- Crush the ice in your preferred manner (I use my Art Deco crank-style manual ice crusher, or a Zip-Loc bag and hammer in a pinch)
- Fill a cocktail shaker half-full of the aforementioned crushed ice
- Add, in this order, the gin, Pimm's, vermouth, and Chartreuse (or bitters)
- Put the lid on the shaker and make sure it is sealed.
- Shake the mixture VIGOUROUSLY for 20-30 seconds
- Strain into a large Martini glass
- Drink while it's still cold

The thrown-together concoction wasn't bad, but not as good as I'd remembered my original recipe to be.  The Chartreuse added a different flavour, and overpowered the Pimm's No. 1 Cup (which is a Gin-based liqueur) to the point I couldn't taste it.  Using Bombay Sapphire instead of my usual Plymouth gin also imparted a slightly spicier taste to the drink.

Result?  If my personal recipe was a ten, this would be a six... maybe a seven.  Still, not bad for something I threw together.

As for the exercise program...

Shortly after shaking the mixture, my shoulders and abdomen started to hurt... Shaking the cocktail was a bit of a workout, and I'm a tad out of shape.  To get back into shape, I devised the following exercise routine:

Using one's favourite recipe, make a Martini
Shake the Hell out of it for 20-30 seconds
(3-4 reps, more if desired)

After a few reps, you won't care if you're fat and/or out of shape.  Keep it up, and you'll be a drunken Schwarzenegger in no time flat!


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. You know, brands such as Juicy Couture really should exercise better control over their dealers and resellers.

    They spend millions on developing products and promoting their brand, only to have reseller's spambots fuck it all up.

    Thanks to this, I'll never buy Juicy Couture goods for any member of my family... present or future.

  3. Have you checked out for accurate classic vintage cocktail recipes?

  4. I have now!

    A moot point, as I have several classic cocktail guides from the 19th century onward.


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